Unlived Memories
by Amanda Ayr
Summary: What if Sam came back with memories after Unending? Now she's got to decide if those feelings for Cam are real.


Gentle caresses, stolen kisses. Midnight rendezvous propped up against the bulkhead, heat pouring off of him in waves. She could feel his calloused hands probing her flesh even now, and it scared her. The trip back on the Odyssey was something she'd never forget. After jumping to hyperspace, she sank to her butt, back pressed up against the console. All these memories came crashing down on her.

After getting back to earth, she confronted Teal'c about them. He had, of course, been mum about what he knew until she told him about the memories she retained from those 50 years they were stranded on the Odyssey. They were only a few, but she wanted to know. Even then, Teal'c said little about it.

"You must sort these memories out on your own, Colonel Carter." He said simply to her, and left her in the corridor.

Sam had asked Cameron to meet her for lunch the day after their last mission. Even the mission had gone a little weird for her... well, weird in the sense that she started watching every little move Cam made, from the slight eyebrow raise at a new artifact Daniel would find, or the fast rise and fall of his sculpted chest after shooting off a few rounds at Ori footsoldiers. Worry started overwhelming her when staff blasts flew too close. Relief washed over her when he was left unharmed. Even thinking about it now her hand began to shake a bit.

"Sam? You okay?"

Her head shot up, eyes immediately going to those baby blues that were framed by Cam's tanned face. She was pleasantly left speechless the first moment she saw him, just like she was now. Cam leaned forward more, his head tilting ever so slightly as he started at her. "Sam... talk to me. Are you alright?"

It was another moment before she snapped to her senses, nodding. "Yeah... This whole week has been one crazy rollercoaster ride." Cam stared at her still, but chose to sit down instead of protesting her answer. Instead, he just smiled.

"So, how's the lunch today? I haven't had a chance to peek." Sam shrugged. She hadn't had a chance to look either. The impromptu invitation was something she would have normally never done. It just seemed right... Live for today. "I don't know. We might as well go check." She went to push up from the table, Cam mimicing her movements to follow her to the buffet line.

He got there first, reaching for a tray just as she got there, her hand reaching behind his to grab the one right under the one he was getting. Her hand brushed against his. A brief glimpse of his hand grabbing hers, dragging her off one night to be away from the others. She blinked, looking up at him. He looked back down at her, then handed her the tray. "Here." His voice was quiet. She muttered a thanks, taking it from him as he grabbed one one she had barely touched. Lunch was some sort of meat and noodle dish - Cam had complained that it wasn't roast beef. It made her remember the one time they were out of phase and they had roast beef that day in the mess hall.

Instead of originally sitting across from each other like she had originally planned, Sam chose to sit next to Cam when they got back to the table. Cam didn't mind one bit - they were friends after all. Sam though, intentionally scooted slightly closer to him. He smelled of spicy citrus aromatics and irish spring, something she hadn't ever thought of combining, but it smelled heavenly on him. The black t-shirt clung to his chest, outlining the tops of his biceps, barely showing off the toned abs he kept hidden underneath. What she would kill to see him without his pants right now.

He noticed she wasn't eating, and he nudged her with his shoulder. "You sure things are alright? You haven't even touched your food. I would have thought your jello would be gone by now." To him, she just seemed to be in a daze... like she was somewhere else.

"Come on." He stood up, his hand going out for her to grab. She looked up, her eyes going from his hand to his face, a glimpse of a darkened room and his age-worn face infront of her. Automatically, her hand went for his. She could feel his arms wrapping around her, a light grip, whispered words on their last night together.

She blinked, and there was younger Cam infront of her. "Let's go for a walk. You seem too preoccupied here."

The corridors were empty at lunch time, which gave Sam time to gether her thoughts. Why was this driving her mad? No man had made her feel like this before. "What's on your mind, Sam?"

She couldn't tell him. There was a reason her future self wanted her to have these feelings. "I think I'm just overly exhausted. Too much has happened this week."

She went to go forward when Cam grabbed her arm and pulled her back to face him. She stumbled briefly, her hand going out to press on his chest to steady herself. That scent of spicy citrus and Irish Spring filled her nostrils once more. She had to force her knees not to weaken. "Sam... don't lie. Something's up. You can talk to me... I'm always here for you."

She settled into that small niche his body created against hers. It felt like finally, the puzzle piece that was her life had settled into its matching piece. But, instead of acting on that strong urge she had, she pulled away. "I just need some sleep Cam. I'll see you in the morning." She walked away, leaving Cam standing in the corridor by himself.

She had gotten up early to watch Cam's weekly spar with Teal'c. She knew he was getting better, but Teal'c would always be the dominant one. Cam thought too much like a human sometimes, thinking with emotion. Is that what she was doing now? Her emotions were overflooding her logic and reasoning. A thud interrupted her musings as Cam's back hit the floor hard. He grunted, the air from his lungs being pushed out. He laid there for a minute before he got up, heading for the bench with his towel and water bottle on it. He lifted his hand, signalling to Teal'c that he needed a break. There was a silent nod as Teal'c responded. The water bottle was lifted to his lips, his eyes going to where she stood at the door. A quick drink was taken. "I didn't expect to see you up this early."

"I..." She bit her bottom lip for a moment. "I figured we could get breakfast."

Cam nodded, using the towel to wipe himself off. He was sweaty, a light sheen of perspiration coating his arms and face. "Sure." He looked back towards Teal'c who gave him another nod. They would continue it tomorrow. Sneakers moving against the concrete floor, he walked to Sam, his head motioning to Sam. She followed after him, falling alongside him. It was a slow walk to the elevator, and Sam found herself walking close to him. With the towel draped around his neck and the water bottle in his right hand, her right hand went out to slide into his left. She half expected his hand to pull away, but when it tightened around hers she smiled to herself.

The elevator ride up a few levels was quiet, as well as the walk to the mess hall. Over breakfast they discussed a few things, like Cam's favorite sports teams, what she liked to do on her days off, and so on. Their plates were left and forgotten for hours after they ate, talking about various things. Cam finally checked his watch. "I've gotta shower at some point... I hate to cut our talk short, Sam."

She opened her mouth to stay something without even thinking, but it made her blush slightly. "I'll see you later then, Cam." He seemed confused at her reaction, but nodded, squeezing her hand before heading out. She wasn't going to tell him that she remembered one night, in the shower.

A few days later, he found her in her lab, bent over her computer. They had been spending nearly every waking moment together, talking about their lives, getting closer to each other. Sam, now, was conflicted. These feelings were from an older Sam, who had fallen in love with an older Cam. They had time to learn everything about each other, they had time to cultivate these feelings they had for each other. In just a few short days she and Cam had gotten close. But were these feelings real? It was hard to seperate the ones she was bestowed with that night and the ones from before that. There was that initial emotional attachment, but she didn't think it could develop into anything more.

A hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts yet again. He was standing beside her, looking down at her. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was thinking about you." She said automatically. His arm went around her, hand sliding flat against her side. He looked over her shoulder at what she was working on - some technical mumbo-jumbo that he'd have to have her explain to him. It was obviously Asgard in design, and he wasn't up to speed on that stuff yet. These few days, Sam had seen him act more openly around her, a few touches here and there, those secret smiles and whispers in her ear. It was still all confusing her.

She turned her head to look at him, his face just inches from hers. Time just seemed to stop in that very moment. It was just her and Cam in her lab, all lights and sounds fading into the background. Her chest tightened, her body froze. She was paralyzed in his grasp. Cam's eyes went to her lips. he was attracted to those gorgeous, kissable lips. From the moment he had met her he had wanted to kiss those lips.

He leaned forward first, his lips touching hers. He was tenative at first, easing her body against his, waiting for her to pull away. When her hands gripped his uniform shirt tightly, pulling him closer, he knew he had done the right thing. Sam's mind, on the other hand, was filled with those memories that were left with her. Every kiss, every touch that she and Cam shared in those 50 years on the Odyssey were remembered. She pushed her chair out of the way, Cam leading her towards an empty table towards the back of the room.

The door opened. "Sam, I need you to - " Daniel stopped talking and walking abruptly at the scene infront of him. Vala nearly stumbled right into him. Daniel just shoved her back out behind him and closed the door as Cam's shirt landed on the table.

She settled in right next to him, clothes having been put on only a few minutes ago. Hair dishevelled, buttons mismatched.

She felt guilty. She almost felt like she was betraying Future Cam. But these feelings were bleeding into this life now, her feelings. Her head rested against his shoulder, his fingers playing with a few wisps of hair on her head. "Sam?"

"Yeah, Cam?"

He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "I love you."

A slow smile spread across her lips. She was satisfied. "I love you too."

She had decided on one thing just now. These feelings weren't just for one version of a person. They were of just one person, past, present, and future, that she had started slowly falling in love with a year ago when she first saw him laying in that hospital bed. These memories just represented what would just come to be. 


End file.
